


The Witching Hour

by miagreymanes



Category: Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Retirement is starting to look really good to Khadgar, Varian Wrynn Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 23:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17069228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miagreymanes/pseuds/miagreymanes
Summary: Everything is fine, until it isn't.





	The Witching Hour

For Khadgar, bed had never been the place of rest that it seemed to be for most. His mind tended to run on endlessly, distracting him from sleep. Sometimes it was on the most peculiar subjects; one night had been entirely dedicated to the potential of Murlocs. It had been caused by a great deal of drinking, but he’d had some interesting thoughts- not that he could share them with anyone without looking like he'd lost it completely. But most nights his thoughts were more serious. Those nights had become more and more frequent after they had almost lost Varian, and as the battle with the Legion dragged on there seemed to be no stopping. And then they’d won. He hoped it was a victory which would remain, but he knew all too well that the Burning Legion was never truly gone. He had hoped that the sleepless nights might fade, but they didn’t. Instead they’d gotten worse to the point where when he climbed into bed at night he did not know if he would have the energy to continue on the next day. But he tried, oh how he tried.

The mess that was his mind seemed to always choose the worst times to explode completely. Summer was usually a peaceful season, and if he experienced an episode, at least the nights were warmer, but the summer after the war was anything but peaceful. A collective decision had been made to host a series of celebratory balls meant to ease remaining tensions after the conflict. It would be a chance for those involved in the fighting and those who had been left behind at home, to come together in an atmosphere filled with joy rather than strife. The preparations were overwhelming and as not only the leader of the Kirin Tor, but the mate of the High King, he had duties. It was overwhelming and in a matter of days his mind was a jumble again. No matter what he did, what he took, nothing helped. More often than not he found himself staring at the ceiling as the hours passed, Varian snoring peacefully on the other side of the bed. 

With days to go before the opening of the festivities he had eked out a routine. At around three he gave up entirely and swung his legs around so as to get out of bed. Tea and a snack couldn’t hurt, and at least he would be certain that Varian would get the rest he needed. Usually he found it easy to slip out of the bed, but with the shifting weather it seemed that each and every joint in his body had decided to ache terribly, and he found himself frozen in place the moment his feet hit the floor. The pain passed after a moment and he braced his hands against his knees, attempting to will himself into standing. But as he finally began to slide forward he became very quickly aware that he was no longer the only one awake.

Looking over his shoulder at Varian, Khadgar smiled at him tiredly. He could see that the warrior needed more sleep, but he had forced himself into wakefulness the moment that he'd realized that Khadgar was no longer curled up at his side.

"Go back to sleep, Varian. Everything is fine."

"No. You don't get to do that, Khadgar.” Varian groaned and pushed himself up in the bed, shaking his head. “You've been through just as much as I have in the past weeks and you need your rest. Perhaps even more than I do."

The king cursed softly as he rolled out of bed and Khadgar bowed his head, listening to Varian’s grumbling as he limped his way over to the side of the bed which the mage had claimed as his own. He was getting older, they both were, but Khadgar certainly had one very large advantage of him. He'd had years to adjust to the limitations of age on a person, although he knew that he had no room to talk. He pushed himself far further than he should, and he paid the price for it every single time.

"Alright, push over." Varian dropped onto the bed next to Khadgar and leaned into him heavily. Reaching out, his hand came to rest on the mage's knee and he squeezed it for a brief moment before he bumped their heads together gently. "Now, what is this all about?"

Sighing, Khadgar found himself unable to resist the urge to lean into the man next to him just as heavily. A burden shared was a burden halved, or so the saying went. "I'm tired."

Varian's frown deepened and he made a small, concerned sound. "Are you sick? Do you need a healer?"

"No." Khadgar dropped his head to Varian's shoulder and stared down at the large hand covering his knee. "This is not something that a healer can fix.”

Face tightening, Varian stilled and carefully sat up, allowing Khadgar to right himself before he pulled away. Turning to face him properly, he took the mage's hands in his own. He remembered a time when his hands hadn't dwarfed the ones he held so carefully, but those days had long since passed. "What are you saying?"

Khadgar hunched forward slightly, seeming to almost fold in on himself. When he looked up at Varian, his face was sombre and he suspected it showed each and every one of his years, both magically acquired and those he had experienced himself.

"I think I'd like to step down from the Kirin Tor. But more than that, I'd like to step down from all of my positions. I'm tired Varian. With all that I've lived through...I don't know how many truly good years I have left and I don't want to waste any more of them on things that don't matter to me anymore." Blinking rapidly, he shook his head and let out a small, shaky laugh. "I've been thinking about this for some time, but I'm ready. I'm ready to step away from the madness and the conflicts and peacekeeping. I want to settle here with our family and not have to worry about being called away at a moment's notice."

Varian remained silent, watching as Khadgar slowly unwound before him, exposing an exhaustion that the mage had kept hidden. He’d had suspicions that perhaps something might be brewing, but he hadn't realized quite how miserable his mate had become, and he regretted that. Squeezing Khadgar's hands, he leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. "If that is what you say you desire, then I believe you and I will defend your decision. We've all seen what you have done for us, the lives you've saved and all of the good things that have come to pass because of you. I don’t think you will find a single person amongst our friends who would protest."

"You don't think this is rash, or some terrible decision?" Khadgar's voice was soft, almost timid, and he hated it, but it was Varian. There had never been and never would be another who he could be so open with and he knew it.

"Khadgar, no. Not for a single moment. Your whole life has been dedicated to the service of one cause or another. You've been loyal to Azeroth and given everything that you have ever had to offer to protect not just the Alliance, but all beings here. If it is time for you to rest, then it is time for you to rest."

There was a brief pause and Khadgar ducked his head, looking at the ground. "And you'll still have me?"

Varian's breath caught in his throat for a moment and his heart ached for the mage. "Of course I'll still have you. Khadgar. Your worth to me is not based on what you have to offer. I love you, I for most of my life in one way or another, and even when I am in the ground I will still love you. I swear, if there is one thing in this world that you can be certain will never change, it is the way that I feel about you."

Without looking up, Khadgar nodded, his chin coming to rest against his chest. Even though they’d been together for years, the lingering doubt of not being good enough for Varian remained. He hadn’t ever intended to express it or allow him to know at all, but the words had slipped out before he could stop them. 

Releasing Khadgar’s hands, Varian pushed himself up with a groan before he turned to face the mage. “Alright, you’re going to come with me and we are going to walk together and discuss this. Then we will have tea before we get back into bed. Together. Do you have any questions?”

Slowly raising his head, Khadgar stared up at Varian, confused. “Pardon me?”

“You heard what I said. Now come. Thankfully at this hour usually the guards are the only ones who are still awake, so we’ll have most of the keep to ourselves.”

“Varian, you need your rest.”

“As do you. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those circles under your eyes getting deeper and darker by the day. I’m not as unobservant as people seem think I am. I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what it was.” 

Khadgar shook his head stubbornly. “I can do this on my own. Tomorrow will be much worse than today was. Mia and Calia are both expected to arrive and there are still things which need to be sorted out before they set one foot in the city. You need to sleep.”

“I do need sleep, just as you do, Khadgar.” He sighed softly and rubbed his face. “I do know that you can do this on your own, but no more. Whatever happens, whatever we face next, we do it together, just as we always have.”

“Are you certain?” He looked up at Varian questioningly.

Varian stepped forward and took Khadgar’s hands in his own, pulling him to his feet with little effort. “I am. Now, you choose the path and I will follow.” He held out his arm for the mage to take and couldn’t help but smile at the expression of exasperation that settled over his face. “Well?”

With a put-upon sigh, Khadgar ducked his head for a moment before he took a step forward and tucked his hand in the crook of Varian’s elbow. “The courtyard?”

“The courtyard it is.”

Leaning into each other, they quietly made their way out of their shared chambers. The halls were just as silent as he had anticipated and it was peaceful. As they walked, Khadgar realized that even though the pain and the inner turmoil he still felt at his decision, he also felt far lighter than he had in a very long time. He was home and there he would remain.


End file.
